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英国笑话大赛“最佳笑话奖” 1. 英国笑话大赛“最佳笑话奖”一天半夜,有个中国人走进美国的一家酒吧,碰到了大导演史提文·斯皮尔伯格(Steven Spielberg)。 这个中国人正好是斯皮尔伯格的铁杆影迷,于是冲上前去,请求斯皮尔伯格给他留个签名。 可他万万没有想到,斯皮尔伯格竟给了他一耳光,骂道:“你们中国人轰炸了我们珍珠港,快给我滚开!” 中国人感到很震惊,回答说:“轰炸你们珍珠港的可不是中国人啊,那是日本人干的!” 斯皮尔伯格答曰:“什么中国人(Chinese)、日本人(Japanese)、台湾人(Taiwanese),你们这些叫做‘你死’(-nese)的人都一个鸟样!” 中国人一听火了,也狠狠地回敬斯皮尔伯格一个大耳光,说:“你把铁达尼号给弄沉到海里去了,我的祖先当年就在那条船上!” 这下子轮到斯皮尔伯格震惊了,他辩解说:“是冰山把那条船撞沉的呀,怎么是我呢?!” 中国人回答说:“什么爱死八格 (iceberg)、死皮尔八格 (Spielberg)、该死八格 (Carlsberg) ,你们这些叫做‘八格’(-berg) 的玩意儿统统一个鸟样!” 2. 爆冷的三字经 人之初 : At the begining of life. 性本善 : Sex is good. 性相近 : Basically,all the sex are same. 习相远 : But it depends on how the way you do it. 苟不教 : If you do not practise all the time. 性乃迁 : Sex will leave you.. 教之道 : The way of learning it<!–more–> 贵以专 : is very important to make love with only one person. 昔孟母 : Once a great mother, Mrs Meng 择邻处 : chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence. 子不学 : If you don”t study hard, 断机杼 : Your Dick will become useless. 窦燕山 : Dou, the Famous 有义方 : owned a very effective exciting medicine 教五子 : All his five son took it 名俱扬 : and their sexual ability were well-kown. 养不教 : If your children don”t know how to do it, 父之过 : It is all your fault. 教不严 : If they had lots of problems with it, 师之惰 : their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex. 子不学 : You may refuse to study this 非所宜 : but that is a real mistake 幼不学 : If you don”t learn it in childhood, 老何为 : you will lose your ability when aged 玉不琢 : If you don”t exercise your dick, 不成器 : It won”t become hard and strong. 人不学 : If you don”t learn sex, 不知义 : You can by no means enjoy its sweetness. 3.辅助线的作用 有一天, 数学老师正在讲几何题中辅助线的作用, “作一条辅助线是为了构建————” 底下一同学连忙接上 “和谐社会!” |
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