lingshi1 发表于 2011-4-10 17:23   全显示 1楼

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我建议楼主以后增加下人物内心的描写，比如调教时的心里那个晓薇的，调教妈妈时她心里的都在转变。这章就写到妈妈的转变可惜没有内心描写，应该有内心描写让妈妈自己和读者了解到和妈妈做爱，调教妈妈和其她女人有什么不同！文章里没有妈妈的内心描写按照推测现在妈妈并不是喜欢和儿子乱伦而只是对儿子的愧疚，所以我觉得楼主或者增加内心描写或者是需要个桥段来表示妈妈的内心到底是怎么情况。
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